I, lb JSero Firemen V . 11 memem I HOPE THE WARREN TECH PLAZA Merchants Merchants Association is a trend-setter. trend-setter. trend-setter. In this day and time of taking everyone and everything for granted, the Tech Plaza merchants are honoring honoring some very special people at noon today - the Warren firemen and policemen who miraculously miraculously and courageously saved the entire center from destruction last month, when the K-mart K-mart K-mart supermarket was burned out. The merchants are calling it "Heroes' Day," and I hope it catches on. It's time we recognized and thanked our public servants who give a little extra of themselves for our welfare. The Tech Plaza merchants are putting money where their mouth is, by donating $1,000 to the firemens benevolent association and $500 to the police benevolent benevolent fund. Santa Claus will also be there for the kiddies and they've flattered me by including including me on the program. I helped Bill Anderson Anderson write his No. 1 country hit record of "Where Have AH Our Heroes Gone," and I'm going to be proud to tell him we still have "Heroes" like the policemen and firefighters of Warren. I just hope the Tech Plaza "Heroes Day" spreads. THE LATEST EFFORT to counteract the "skirtzophrenia" mini vs. midi of m'lady will . be conducted by Doug Jacobs and crew at the Red Garter (on Library behind Hudson's) next Friday with a gigantic "Up Your Hem" rally. Jacobs, who knows full well midis hide Red Garters, has established his club as national headquarters for "Americans Against Midis," which I think is courageous since Hudson's across the street is such a big midi-pusher. midi-pusher. midi-pusher. Anyway, Anyway, next Friday night "Mr. Ax the Max," Jimmy Launce of WJR, will be on hand with YOURS TRULY to scissor some more midis to the improper ... er, proper . . . mini-level. mini-level. mini-level. Remember this little poem gals. In the fashion ; j li Jlf) n i urn ri- ri- unmm i mm riwimww minri mmnm-mi mmnm-mi mmnm-mi 'nm war the mini will win'Cause it gets the maxiest looks from the mostest men! Somebody at the Post Office must know me. A letter from Ray Benson in Columbia, S.C., arrived to me addressed "The Chubby Bearded Rascal Columnist From The Deep ' South," Detroit, Mich. The geography, the hair and the flab .1 can buyv but "rascal"? . . . Great Burma-Shave-type Burma-Shave-type Burma-Shave-type Burma-Shave-type Burma-Shave-type sign on U.S. 131 between between Big Rapids and Grand Rapids: "Fatty, Fatty run for your life! Here comes skinny with an Olsen Knife!" What's an Olsen knife? Wonder Wonder if if could help ol' Chub here carve off the lard? . . . Johnny Randall of Southfield's WYXZ notes his wife Maryann recently shared a maternity ward room with a woman who has had ten children, and, says Randall, "She ran Dut of names to call her husband!" Eliminating "Dear" and "Honey" would be good starters. Bunny Westrate was teaching her 3d-graders 3d-graders 3d-graders at Greenfield in Birmingham about ecology and how we have hurt our own land with misuse of forests, streams, etc. She asked "What were some of the mistakes the early lumbermen made?" and received this 1970 answer: "They didn't invent the power saw" . . . Not only do I know I couldn't afford the tax on Sidney Kran-dall Kran-dall Kran-dall and Sons' million-dollar million-dollar million-dollar jewell display at the auto show's Dodge Diamant experimental car exhibit, I couldn't afford the security it takes to guard them. Hugh Krandall says the display of 14,000 diamonds, precious stones, brooches, Hapsburg tiara, etc. cost $1,000 for insurance, insurance, $800 for armored car transportation, plus $250 for the eight guards $2,050 a day for security ... All right, sports fans, are you ready for this: "J.P.'s Sports Off The Record On the Record," a one-hour one-hour one-hour TV special next Friday, 7:30 p.m. on TV2? WJR's J.P. McCarthy, McCarthy, a budding Bill Flemming, hosts his second second TV special and promises "some real surprises" surprises" with guests like Alex Karras, and Dave Hill, a pair of Peck's bad boys. J.P., you'll have to go a long way to top this weekend's "Detroit" magazine spread on a "dandified" Mr. Karras, turned into a glorious sex symbol by the magic of writer Marji Kunz, photographer photographer Al Kamuda and editors Dave Dolson and Jeanne Findlater. Danny Honigman, so wealthy, his friends say, he has an unlisted bank, complained the other day that he paid $85,000 for a prefabricated home. I asked if 85 thou wasn't a little high, and Honigman admitted, "It wasn't that much to begin with, but I had it sent airmail!" . . . Say gals, beware of those cheap wigs made of Japanese hair. They're trained to attack you on Dec. 7 . . . And I wouldn't accept any Spiro Agnew watch if I were you, because you know what they say about gifts bearink Greeks . . . Rex Reed, beolawed chronicler of celebs, now purpling the prose for us from time to time, says movie stars remind him of food: "Lucille Ball is an orange popsicle. I mean, she really is an orange popsicle. Barbra Streisand is an eggplant, but please, let's don't go into why." Reed's right. He's always reminded me of a day-old day-old day-old melted hot fudge sundae. - . t ..... : . 0 1 , Highway Tragedy Scars Idyllic Life THE SUN WAS RIGHT. It came up over the hills leading down to the little town and it converted the fresh snow into billions of diamonds, the long lashes of blue breaking from the peaks where the sun was too low, white plumes decorating the nostrils of the horses as they pulled the logs up from the bridge to the top, their heads down, their feet slipping. The new people lived beyond the hills. They came over them on Route 72, a two-lane two-lane two-lane highway, drawing black scars as they drove down slowly to the old iron bridge at the bottom, and made a left turn onto it and across into Main Street. There was an old granite courthouse and two traffic lights, some parking meters, a semi-supermarket, semi-supermarket, semi-supermarket, a pharmacy, the Bijou movie, the offices of two doctors and a dentist all on second floors and a lumber yard where coal and oil were also sold. BOB ORDERED ONE MORE. The bartender bartender said it was nippy out. It was indeed, Bob said, but the snow was deep and soft. By noon it would be slush. At the end of the bar, two elderly men played darts. A couple gat in a booth whispering. Bob worried about his drinking. He was worried because he knew Irene was worried. He was not an alcoholic. Nobody not even Irene had ever known him to be drunk. But he enjoyed a couple of shots in the morning and a couple at night just before he locked the doors and windows of the little ranch house. Again and again, he told himself how good it was to be back, to have completed his hitch with honor, to have a supervisory job in the lumber yard, the house and now, most precious, little Jimmy. Bob tossed his head back and snapped the shot glass off the bar and drank the whisky. That was two. Enough. He said goodby. Bob drove slowly, watching the oncoming cars through the metronome of the wipers. There was warmth in his stomach now, and he wondered if It was humanly possible to remain at age 24 right to the end. He maintained maintained a proper spacing between cars. He moved the speed up a notch or two. The rear of the car executed a slow hula, then climbed the last snowy hill before the incline down to the old iron bridge. But he knew that the car was going a bit too fast. The big foot depressed the brake gently. The rear end skidded toward the ditch. He straightened the car. Both feet were off the pedals, but the car built speed. He could see the bridge at the bottom. HE KNEW THE car was going too fast to make the turn. The proper move was to continue continue in a straight line and run the car through the wooden rail into the river. He thought of everything. Bob opened his door slightly and stuck one foot out to keep it open. The car hit the wooden railing. He drove through it and straight out over the black river. He had one arm on the wheel; one over his eyes. Then he felt the shock of the water and shoved the door open and dropped out. Everything had been done as he had planned. He came to the surface and swam toward the shore. He crept up on the rocks and heard cheers from both sides of the bridge. He had done it. Then he fell to his knees weeping. He just remembered: Little Jimmy was sleeping on the back seat ... By Earl Wilson :? Barbra's Flies In .- .- f TRUDEAU: Dating Barbra Secretly? 'I. - They Fear Smoking Might Harm Baby BY PETER J. STEINCROHN, M.D. Dear Dr. Steincrohn: My husband is a smokestack. I deserve the same label. He puts away almost three packs of unfiltered cigarets a day. I smoke at least two packs of the filtered variety. He is 28 and I am 22 and pregnant. You must have guessed my question. Will smoking harm our baby? We're both willing to quit if you say so. Mrs. D. COMMENT: I wish I could unequivocally give you a reason to stop smoking in connection connection with your pregnancy. But the answer is that there is no specific evidence that smoking smoking harms the infant. Studies have shown that there is a tendency for smoking mothers mothers to have smaller babies. Also, there are Indications that there is a greater likelihood of prematurity. But as I said, nothing definite. definite. As far as we know, the fact that the father imokes seems to have no deleterious effect on the fetus. Nevertheless, we do know that smoking doesn't improve health, either. You say, Mrs. D., that both you and your husband are willing to quit if I say so. Well, I say so. Especially at your age, when you can prevent such complications as bronchitis, emphysema, lung cancer and many more, minor discomforts commonly associated with tobacco smoking. After all, you have your selves to think about, too. Forgetting about your children for a moment, you'll want to be around long enough to enjoy your grandchildren, and 20 or 30 more years of smoking will lower those odds. You say you are willing to quit. Many are. The question is: have you the "will" in addition addition to the "willingness"? Dear Dr. Steincrohn: My 1 (5-year-old (5-year-old (5-year-old (5-year-old (5-year-old son is txtremely allergic to bee stings. A. few months ago he would have died if we hadn't gotten him to the hospital emergency room in time. He's been told to stay away from bees. Not so easy. Isn't there more that can be done? Mrs. F. COMMENT: In your excitement at the time, chances are you did not hear your doctor's doctor's advice that your son see an allergist for further treatment. Most doctors realize that allergy to bee stings is a serious problem. problem. Life Begins at 40 Beware Phony Job Schemes BY ROBERT PETERSON Q Some time ago, seeking seeking some work I could do at home, I answered an ad I had seen in the classified section section of a magazine which stated that there was plenty of home typing work available. available. I received a reply stating that I should send $1 for an Instruction book. I sent in my dollar and upon receiving the book, found that all it did was to give a list of typical contacts contacts which I could make, to seek some home typing work. I feel I have been duped. A You are not alone. Unfortunately, Unfortunately, there are many money-making money-making money-making lures used to mail-order mail-order mail-order advertising dishon-estly, dishon-estly, dishon-estly, inspired by tricksters to bilk the unwary. Last year the postal authorities received nearly 200,000 mail fraud complaints! complaints! While there are many iegiti-m iegiti-m iegiti-m a t e home money-making" money-making" money-making" projects offered to supplement supplement family income, you have to try to ferret them out from the phonies. If any substantial substantial m o n e y is Involved, check out the company first through, a chamber of commerce, commerce, the B e 1 1 e r Business Bureau, your banker, anyone who might be in the know. Q I'm supposed to be on a high protein diet and this seems to be a very costly one to maintain these days. Any suggestions? A You'd better first re-check re-check re-check your need for a high protein diet. Some feel that high protein diets can lead to difficulties if maintained regularly. regularly. For instance, your kidneys kidneys must work overtime to get rid of the additional waste materials produced as your body breaks down the protein into calories. , But as for cost, some of the foods with the highest protein content are found in less-costly less-costly less-costly foods such as poultry, fish, whites of eggs, and beans. Expensive meats like beef, lamb and pork often contain unhealthy fat that reduces reduces the protein value of the foods. In other categories too, some of the less expensive foods are better for you and your family. So, there is some budgetary hope for those who read up on food values and buy accordingly. NEW YORK Canada's handsome Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau made an "unofficial departure" from his country recently recently and went by private plane to New York where he avoided the press during his visit and until he returned to Canada by private plane. The Canadian journalists whom he eluded are betting that his visit here was not a mission of state but to see Barbra Streisand, with whom he's already had a few dates. I'm a neck craner from away back and I can't pass that new skyscraper in Times Sq., No. 1 Astor Plaza, without gawking upward at the sleek shiny lines to the clouds. Can you? - Well, so I blindly said Ohio State would beat Michgan and it did. But did you ever hear anything like this before by Neil Amdur in the New York Times? "At times Ohio State appeared almost 'super-psyched.' 'super-psyched.' 'super-psyched.' Four times in the first 12 minutes, the Buckeyes ran plays with only 10 men on the field." I'm not doubting the statement statement but if it's true that the coach and quarterback don't know there's a man missing 1 from the lineup, hasn't the time come to see just what's going on? After all, it is still supposed to be a team from a university, dedicated to education, education, and if they don't no tice the difference between 10 and 11, what kind of arithmetic do they teach them out thataway? A friend of mine says "Come on already! Ohio State didn't need 11 men. They only required 10. If they'd used 11, the score would have been doubled!" This friend quickly added: "Don't quarrel with success. If Woody Hayes can win with 10 men let him!" O.K. But I hope he uses 11 in the Rose Bowl. Maria Callas, "the girl that men don't forget," got lots of attention at Trader Vic's in a dinner group whose hosts were Oscar de la Renta and wife f rancoise. Her escort was Franco Rossellini, producer of her film, "Medea," and nephew of Roberto Roberto Rossellini. Miss Dallas' old beau, Aristotle Onassis is around town but this is a very big city and it would be more than a coincidence if they bumped into each other. Miss Callas isn't going out of her way to discuss her visit to NY but we're told it's not for business reasons: "strictly social and personal." Ladybird Johnson's promoting her book and reminded Mary Lasker, her hostess at a big party, that LBJ claims she's been a writer of a long time. She once won a cash prize for writing a letter to the editor of a magazine, "Why I Like 'The Youth's Companion.' " She used her real name, Claudia Taylor. LBJ recently said, "She's been a writer all the time. I only interrupted her career for 35 years." TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: The hippie came in to work at 11 o'clock and the boss shouted, "You should have been here two hours ago!" The hippie said, "Why? What happened then?" WISH I'D SAID THAT: The man who said his wife ran away with his best friend later explained that he'd never met the fellow. , ' I -rrrrr -rrrrr 5 FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1970 rii i niMlHflVrrr "utr'ir---mhrfl "utr'ir---mhrfl "utr'ir---mhrfl mnWiinnnrii i n --it --it ..mn, 19-A 19-A 19-A 'Treason' an Epithet To Repress Dissent ONE OF THE ODDEST QUOTES I've read recently came from Lt. Gen. Ira C. Eaker, U.S. Air Force (Retired), who said the following following in a speech to an Air War College graduating class: "I believe that when some historian of the future does the job on us which Gibbon did on Rome, he will find that the first certain evidence of our decline was our tolerance of "treason." In the first place, historically speaking, treason had nothing to do with Gibbon's thesis thesis or the decline of Rome but whenever a speaker wants to make a show of learning, he cites Gibbon on the decline of Rome as a parallel to our times; one can "prove" anything anything this way. MORE IMPORTANTLY, our nation began in what men like Gen. Eaker would have called "treason." When Patrick Henry stood up in the Virginia House of Burgesses to warn King George the Third that we would not stand for. the Stamp Act, the Speaker of the House eried: "Treason ! "and Henry made his famous reply, "If THIS be treason, make the most of it!" The established authorities call everything "treason" that dqes not suit their purposes or fit their own particular notion of what is proper. A "traitor" is any dissenter you would like to do away with and cannot find a legal means of shutting up. This was clearly understood by President James Madison, one of the framers of our Constitutional liberties. In the Federalist Papers, which formed our country's political structure, Madison warned of the dangers of "artificial treasons," by which charge each faction seeks to "wreak its alternate malignity malignity on the other." BECAUSE, MADISON SAID, it is so easy and so dangerous for one faction to accuse the other of being "treasonable," the Constitutional Constitutional Convention "with great judgment opposed opposed a barrier to this peculiar danger, by inserting a constitutional definition of the crime, fixing the proof necessary for th conviction of it, and restraining the Congress, Congress, even in punishing it, from extending the consequences of guilt beyond the peraon of its author." . What Gen. Eaker calls our "toleranc of treason" is precisely the principle wfl .are founded on. Indeed, anyone studying the pre-Reyolutionary pre-Reyolutionary pre-Reyolutionary period must be impressed with the fact that Britain lost her colonies exactly because she called "treasonable" the attitudes of patriotic men like Henry ;;and Madison, who simply wanted a larger 'mea sure of justice and representation for: the people. Nations decline not when they tolerate tolerate treason, but when they repress legitimate legitimate dissent with what Madison called ?'$h8 mighty engine of artificial treason." ' 8 is & t .7. ,5 ' 'r X 'if L At Last, a Fan Club In My Own Image FOR YEARS I HAVE ADVOCATED the "no meeting" where an organization bands together in name only with no dues, no sunshine sunshine chairmen, no bake sales and no dedication dedication whatsoever. Women today have "purpose, commitments, commitments, projects and involvements" coming out of their eyeballs. Furthermore, I predict we are seeing an end to an era of navel-length navel-length navel-length corsages, and 20 minute introductions of speakers (More, when there is oxygen available). We are viewing the passing of nervous chairmen like the one in Runa Erwin Ware's book ("All Those In Favor Say Something") who said, "I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you girls from the various churches who were so helpful helpful in our attendance drive. We contacted by phone almost every member in three counties. counties. I want especially to congratulate Circle Six from our local church. They furnished more call girls for the convention than any other circle." IT WAS A STROKE of inspiration that prompted Ray Court, a disk jockey on KVI in Seattle, Washington, to institute the Pacific Pacific Northwest Chapter of the Erma Bom-beck Bom-beck Bom-beck fan club. The only requirement for joining was to ask for a membership card in which 'jttie women promised to carry in their hearts; th, following basic precepts: . That neatness is not necessarily a vlrtui; That frozen dinners, too, are nourishing? That children are not an unmitigated joy; That separate breakfasts can lead to marital marital bliss; The restaurant ran out of martini glasses, and she was not skinny either; That ironed sheets cause nightmares,--" nightmares,--" nightmares,--" nightmares,--" That the best cure for a wet blanket 3s jjj dry martini. Within a few days more than 500 membership membership cards had been distributed and Ray was planning the first no-meeting: no-meeting: no-meeting: a style show and indoor picnic. It was a smash. '.. -V;' -V;' Therestaurant ran out of martini glassei: The lunch itself opened just as the school doors closed at 3 p.m. Women booed midi-skirts midi-skirts midi-skirts and an associate of Ray's, Bob Roberts, Roberts, modeled a purple-gray purple-gray purple-gray pantsuit and fake fur coat and declared, "Just because I'm a conservative doesn't mean I'm a square." There were no minutes, no chances on a barrel of booze, no awards, no committee reports, reports, no election of officers and no plans that they would ever see each other again. I would have loved it, but they wouldn't tell me where they were meeting. 4 I Shirley Booth Stars Ajjj, . In 4Hay Fever' NEW YORK CITY Noel Coward's play "Hay Fever" may be an old chestnut, but what a delightful one! Shirley Booth, as the star of this revival, may not be the brittle sophisticated English actress some of the New York critics claimed was needed for the role, but she is exquisitely warm, lovable and funny. Not having seen the original version version of "Hay Fever" or any of its subsequent subsequent revivals until now, I was enchanted with most of the play. How nice it is to laugh. I looked around to see the age levels of the audience. There were mostly young people, and all were laughing. I hope "Hay Fever" makes it on Broadway, even though it's just a piece of fluff. It's such a nice piece of fluff! I checked to see if it was true that Noel Coward wrote "Hay Fever" after a weekend visit with Laurette Taylor and her family. Not only did I learn it was true, but that' Miss Taylor never got over the hurt of Noel turning on her hospitality by writing a funny play about the weekend. HAD A LONG TALK with Shirley Booth, a delicious human being. She told me that a few days before Thanksgiving, she was on the dais of a testimonial function for Cornelia Cornelia Otis Skinner, and William Gargan came up to see her. They reminisced about the time many years ago when they were both out of work in New York on Thanksgiving. They had bumped into each other on the street and Bill invited her to come to the Gargan apartment for dinner. Shirley knew that things had been tough for all of them in the theater that season and suggested that it might be an imposition, imposition, because Thanksgiving was "family" time. She laughingly reminded Bill of his reply: "Come on up for dinner, Shirley. We'll all chew on the left leg of the baby!" I asked Shirley Booth if she had seen her good friend Katherine Hepburn in "Coco." Yes, she had seen it and what's more she bought a standing room ticket because when , she went to the box office, the house was ptirij riP'i: Ik " ll o t r . 4 Shirley Noel Laurette sold out. She admitted that during Intermission Intermission she was recognized by an usher who found her a seat for the second act in the fourth row. She adored Katie in "Coco." I asked if she considered Kate Hepburn, an eccentric? eccentric? "No," said Shirley, "She's not an eccentric she's an original!" Mrs. Red (Alicia) Buttons told me that recently recently when Red (who is at the Fisher with "Play It Again Sam,") called home to California California and asked to speak to his four-and-a-h four-and-a-h four-and-a-h four-and-a-h four-and-a-h four-and-a-h four-and-a-h a i f -y -y e a r old daughter Amy, Alicia said, "Amy, your favorite fella is on the phone and wants to talk with you." Excitedly Amy called: "You mean Glen Campbell is on the phone for me?" Red hasn't gotten over the hurt yet. Here we go again with "The Godfather." The big hunt is on to find the mall or compound compound of the Corleone family. Producer AI Ruddy would still still prefer not to shoot in New York and has scouts out looking for locations in Baltimore, St. Louis, Kansas City and Washington. Francis Ford Coppola, who is directing the film, and the producers are searching and researching for every bit of info they can find regarding the period of 1946 to 1948. They want to know what wera the popular fads, slogans, billboards, movl styles, etc. Again I say, don't write to me. Send all your mail to Alfran Productions, Paramount Pictures, Marathon St., Hollywood, Hollywood, Calif. 90038.